Monday, February 20, 2017

So Now What?

Coffee makes the world go around. DOH!
We've now hit the third entry in this new blog, and so far I've talked about the forced sabbatical and the concept of exposure bucks. I could continue to rehash this repeatedly as a topic, and while it might be good for therapeutic reasons, it would be redundant for the world at large. Granted, when a significant life change happens, I tend to play the back and forth in my mind like a video and break down every permutation into every little detail. It might seem like a big production, but I judge that I'm not the only person that goes through a similar reaction. How can you make improvements or at the least understand what happened without going through the details? It's often stated that people who don't observe and learn from history are doomed to repeat their actions, but I am trying to learn how to move forward after the process. It doesn't make much sense to pull something apart to learn the nuances if you can't then apply it to your future. It's called paralysis by analysis, and as a person who loves to think, I have to learn to be outside my brain. 

That's the biggest reason for this writing endeavor because while I have spent the greater part of 9 years writing about sports - and mostly about soccer - I don't want this site to be a carbon copy of that. I will be spending time talking about the Portland Timbers here - it's a topic that I actually know a lot about and I want to continue that here. It's not going to be as formal, but I can't post without doing my normal amount of analysis and research to back up my theories. I will miss the game day interactions and the vantage point at the stadium greatly, but there could be freedom in being able to branch out. It's not in my nature to badmouth or gossip, although there is benefit in candor. I've loved this team since the early days of the USL rebirth, and I've not missed a home opener in person since the 2004 season. For the first time this year, I won't be at the stadium in person. I'm trying to come to grips with that, but there are plenty of others that are dealing with far bigger issues that being able to see a sporting event.

I also want to talk a lot about our current world and my small part within it. The political world is complete chaos at times, and I feel that society has lost their ability to find common ground in most issues. This isn't me stating that it's wrong to point out problems or stand your ground, but when groups struggle to find even the most simple of compromises to move forward, it's troubling. Many feel the need to be right - or feel that your perspective is the most correct - rather than look at the bigger picture. I have severe issues with this myself because of years of dealing with controlling personalities during my childhood. Many choices were made for me that in retrospect weren't the best, and as an adult, I tend to be unyielding at times. My hope is that in talking about this, I can start to heal and understand that sometimes finding commonalities is the right choice.

Some of this has been gained with making mistakes. Another big dose was applied when I started doing men's work back in January 2015 with the Mankind Project. Many men struggle with their place in the world within a constant array of changes as society attempts to change to be more inclusive, especially being the product of tough childhoods. Men weren't taught to deal with emotions or feelings but to suppress and avoid, and as such, many are doomed to repeat the mistakes and actions of previous generations in dealing with stress. Another common tactic is to find a target source that triggers reactions instead of looking internally at behavior to try and correct our shortcomings. I'm not saying I'm perfect because as being human, I struggle with confidence and frailty all the time; that doesn't mean that I can find my own target to blame either. Things happen, and we need to learn how to be better humans for ourselves and each other.

I also still play soccer and live with a huge pack of cats, and I want to be able to write about adventures or fun events. I don't want this space to be dour or purely sports, as I'm trying to branch out. It's a scary prospect because above everything else, it's building my own road map. I honestly have no idea where this might go, but I am curious and scared about the twists and turns. It really is a new horizon, and I'm glad I have the support of my wife, my friends and my cats as I embark upon this. While my hope is to publish at least one post a week, there might be times where the entries come fast and furious or there could be gaps in time. One thing I need to remember is suppressing something is never a good idea, and I'm a writer first and foremost - but scheduling inspiration isn't ideal either. So for now, we'll see how this goes, but I appreciate you reading this. Thank you and see you all next time. 


  1. Re 'scheduling inspiration isn't ideal either' never heard of this. I have heard some writere write a set number of pages a day even if its uninspired (ie crap)

  2. It's not a bad idea, but when I put it on the schedule, it just seems to add more writer's block. However, it seems like the inspiration is few and far between, so maybe this is a good idea. Thanks for sharing. -K